Miscellaneous

Stop slut shaming on Facebook (and everywhere else)

This hasn’t been a good year for women and Facebook groups/events. The newest event to pop up and perpetuate violence against women is “Punch a slut in the head week” to take place from May 15 – 22. To date, over 16,000 have confirmed attendance. One of the more horrendous things, in my opinion, is that a lot of the people confirmed are women– women supporting violence against women; bizarre, I know.
The event was created by a guy named TeeJay and his reasoning for starting the event? “Some Slut’s need to learn their lesson the hard way.” Some of the comments on the event’s wall are “!!!!!FUK YER SLUTS TO PUNCH FAIR SQUARE IN THA CAMEL TOE!!!!!YIPPEE” and “hates it when my husband gets “eye fucked” when ever we go out, he’s not the only long haired tattooed metaller on the planet! Silly little skanks, I would eat them up and spit them out and still be hungry GRRRRRRR!!!!” and “Wow, my schools like, filled with sluts…I’M IN!” It’s upsetting to read that people are so open and willing to support and participate in this week-long event. We won’t know if they actually will punch a “slut” but they have pledged to do so virtually; online activity has meaning to, you can’t just play it off as being a joke.
Yet again, the double standard in sexuality between males and females is brought into the spot light. If a dude has a lot of sex, he’s a player. If a woman has a bunch of sex, she’s a slut. This doesn’t make sense. Some people like to have multiple partners, some people like to be monogamous — who cares. Who and how many people have sex with isn’t anyone else’s business and if you have a problem with it, punching someone in the face isn’t going to solve anything.
Chloe, a blogger from Feministing, has a great post on slut shaming. Here’s an excerpt:
The fact that anyone can be labeled a slut, at any time, with any level of sexual activity under their belt, and the fact that sluttiness is a moving target, makes it clear that slut-shaming isn’t just about controlling how much sex women have. If you can be called a slut without so much as kissing another person, then it stands to reason that your slut status must be based on something besides your level of sexual experience or activity. And often, it is. It’s based on what people assume about you just by looking at you – at your body, your clothes and the way you move through the world. Once you realize that, it becomes obvious that the slut label isn’t just about controlling how much sex women have: It’s about controlling how we dress, how we walk, how we talk, how we dance, how much we drink, who we talk to, how we feel about our own desires and so on and so on.
Now, let’s all try and stop this one example of slut shaming and report the event on Facebook and let’s work to stop the shaming in real life too. It’s hard but try and not judge people so much – labels are for jars, not people.
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9 thoughts on “Stop slut shaming on Facebook (and everywhere else)

  1. Not only guys who have a lot sex are labelled as players but they’re labelled as studs and in the male world, they’re expected and encouraged to get “laid” as much as possible.
    Good peice though.

  2. Completely untrue. All based on distorted perception. If you lived even a year as a man you’d laugh at these claims as they have nothing with the real world.

    1) Player is used a shaming label. Its not a positive word. It never has been.
    2) The moment you do start “getting laid”, guys will shame, ridicule, become jealous etc… and women will demonize you for it… and missatribute all kinds of negative traits to you

    Slut and player are equal in that they’re used by insecure, jealous people to blast attractive people. The word slut is used by guys who secretly desire the girl they’re insulting, but they can’t have. The world player is used by guys who secretly wish they had that skill.

    The moment a guy becomes sexually succesful, he will be ascribed traits such as “lying”, “deceit”, “cheating”, “hurting women”, even if they are not true.

    The point is this. Men and women have the exact same problems. I’ve studied both sides. Today I can proudly proclaim I have compassion on what it means to be a woman… I am sad at how selfish a lot of women are and never try to put themselves in a man’s shoes though.

  3. If a woman has a lot of sex but keeps it to herself there is nothing wrong with that. However the idea here is that a woman who acts stupid while letting anything pound her between the legs is one lacking character is true. The archtypal slut is a person who profoundly annoys me and I would gladly punch in the face. I respect the need for equality but find the absolute blaming of problem on “men” as a vague and broad group to be extremely dangerous. Polarization and targeting of a group is never good, it can only lead to genocide in one way or another.

  4. Pingback: Toronto police officer should stop dressing like such a ‘slut’ too. « McClung's Magazine

  5. Actually, it’s really ittnreseing to look at the differences between men’s and women’s tests for sex addiction; and the differences between gay men and straight men’s tests. Apparently gay women are never sex addicts, just for the record you can find them easily available online. According to those tests, for the record, more than half of my students are probably sex addicts. ;-P And I’m pretty sure I count as one too. [shrug] Woo, slut pride, &c!I’ve read some ittnreseing stuff about sex addiction, and the treatments’ for it; enough to be troubled that we yet again are pathologising forms of sexual behaviour we don’t like, for whatever reason. It’s apparently a slippery slope from wrong’ to sick’, and in ways that can be pretty conservative, imo.

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